youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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