I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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