I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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