DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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