Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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