So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
