ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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