If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
