I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
