none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My cat gives me a boner
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
