does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
