Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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