did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
