i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
