I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
