That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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