His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
