my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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