I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
