I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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