I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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