im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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