So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
