you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
