Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
