you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
