New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
