My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"