Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I chose taco bell over sex...

  (503): View more from Oregon

  good choice.

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  (503): I chose taco bell over sex... (503): good choice. http://tfl.nu/85cg
  Replies (16) Good night (2250) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok

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  (330): yah i'm on my way- is everything ok? (1-330) i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok http://tfl.nu/s4ag
  Replies (35) Good night (1075) Bad night (7214)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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  (248): I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch http://tfl.nu/y65i
  Replies (78) Good night (12545) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......

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  (571): how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days...... http://tfl.nu/e1u4
  Replies (10) Good night (3489) Bad night (1620)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.

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  (585): He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials. http://tfl.nu/lmhg
  Replies (10) Good night (3915) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

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  (850): So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm. http://tfl.nu/5svr
  Replies (17) Good night (2608) Bad night (4020)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon

  (407): View more from Florida

  Covered in confetti and bad decisions

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  (407): Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon (407): Covered in confetti and bad decisions http://tfl.nu/kydc
  Replies (9) Good night (1760) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.

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  (402): let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him. http://tfl.nu/l9xp
  Replies (8) Good night (2943) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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  (641): You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid. http://tfl.nu/bnv7
  Replies (20) Good night (1302) Bad night (4028)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.

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  (717): She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl. http://tfl.nu/9cei
  Replies (2) Good night (1341) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"

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  (406): after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers" http://tfl.nu/5du2
  Replies (2) Good night (1025) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"

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  (413): weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories" http://tfl.nu/0nvt
  Replies (6) Good night (1175) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots

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  (318): I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots http://tfl.nu/pvb5
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

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  (402): Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D http://tfl.nu/eelv
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards

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  (563): Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards http://tfl.nu/qcuz
  Replies (3) Good night (958) Bad night (232)

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