Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  How crunk are you?

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): How crunk are you? (713): I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins http://tfl.nu/q3sf
  Replies (3) Good night (2095) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  no weekend plans? you're practically married

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  just without the last name or joint bank account

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i'd advise against both

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): no weekend plans? you're practically married (1-616): just without the last name or joint bank account (616): i'd advise against both http://tfl.nu/dufy
  Replies (6) Good night (1041) Bad night (2026)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear. http://tfl.nu/pswl
  Replies (8) Good night (1017) Bad night (3062)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look. http://tfl.nu/2p75
  Replies (13) Good night (847) Bad night (3467)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky. http://tfl.nu/xwxi
  Replies (8) Good night (716) Bad night (3395)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore" http://tfl.nu/gl8n
  Replies (36) Good night (7058) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool. http://tfl.nu/01zv
  Replies (25) Good night (7580) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped http://tfl.nu/jeaa
  Replies (5) Good night (2738) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake. http://tfl.nu/5qrv
  Replies (8) Good night (1956) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened http://tfl.nu/wwzi
  Replies (9) Good night (635) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again? http://tfl.nu/lpz3
  Replies (7) Good night (1730) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin. http://tfl.nu/me1g
  Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work. http://tfl.nu/3b5u
  Replies (8) Good night (1727) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  That's my new pick up line call me a polish name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad. (1-773): That's my new pick up line call me a polish name http://tfl.nu/jbx5
  Replies (5) Good night (998) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works. http://tfl.nu/5yc6
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (631)

Randomize