It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.