omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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