So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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