Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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