id be glad to
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
