I must be too annoying 4 u.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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