Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
