ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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