Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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