So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
