so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
this just has baby written all over it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
