apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
