There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
