Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
found the other keg... it's in the tree
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
