Your mouth is God's brothel.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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