if you like me you must not know who I am
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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