i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
