at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
