Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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