I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
