I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Fuck appropriateness.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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