Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
