just come out here and I will go home with you...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
