Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
