no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
