She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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