All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
