Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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