no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
