dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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