at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
