He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
