I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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